It’s startling really, that a narcissist will lay waste to everything that comes across his path in order to preserve his own survival against total self-destruction. To him, his behavior is not an option. It’s a matter of self-preservation.
Don’t be the wretched sheep to cross the wolf’s path. Don’t allow yourself to continue to be victimized in order to supply his unwholesome need for narcissistic supply. Don’t expect the wolf to change into a sheep. He doesn’t want to change. He’s a wolf. Accept it.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
There is no limit to the crazy-making of the narcissist. They are incapable of having boundaries because their need for their narcissistic supply is so frenzied they will say and do anything to get it. This means outrageous words or behaviors, things that seem mad, insane or ridiculous. Your mind doesn’t compute the craziness of it because you are not dealing with a fully functioning person. You are dealing with an emotionally under-developed individual.
They will stop at nothing because the unfillable hole inside of them needs what it needs, no matter what. He hates people. Everyone around him is an “asshole” or “idiot”. The truth is he is deeply resentful of other people. They are whole, fully developed, fully functioning people and he isn’t and never will be. He hates them for it. He hates you for it. And he hates himself for it. And you are on his path, so he will take all of his rage and hate out on you and will be temporarily content because his craving for narcissistic supply has been met.
Narcissists are disturbed at their core. Their inner rage has metastasized and taken over like a cancer of the soul. They are jealous and contemptuous and despise the human race. Their heads are riddled with thoughts of revenge and disgust. The narcissist feels he is the victim and the entire world is against him. This deep emotional disturbance is enormous and has far-reaching effects for anyone close to the narcissist. Like a tornado, you will be sucked in if you are near, and he will pull you in and tear you apart as he wreaks chaos and destruction in every area of his life. He needs your narcissistic supply to survive. He needs a victim to tear apart in order to attain and maintain the slightest relief from his own torturous inner self. You were the perfect target, and he recruited you for your energy.
Deep down, the narcissist hates this part of himself and recognizes it as weakness. But he cannot truly heal. His spirit is full of holes, and all he can do is spackle them with the narcissistic supply he steals from you. But the relief is temporary. He’s a sieve. The spackle falls apart and he continually needs supply. The only relief he can achieve is through the soul destruction of another person in order to patch up his soul with a twisted sense of significance.
This is a pathological system. And a pathological individual. You absolutely need to accept this as 100% true if you want to survive.
From my book, Flourish After Narcissistic Abuse by a Narcissist. Now available here at Amazon.com.